"The days and nights are heating up, and the movie studios are gearing up to make 2022 the best year for movies ever! Naw, just kidding, there’ll be good and bad and fine things, plus all the sequels and prequels because Hollywood stone cold gave up on new ideas!

Eiffel (June 3, R)

If you somehow didn’t learn enough about the Eiffel Tower and its engineer Alexander Gustave Eiffel from the Pixies song “Alec Eiffel,” here’s the movie for you. Courtesy of French director Martin Bourboulon, it’ll likely tell us about how people were all like, “Sacre bleu, monsieur Eiffel! Your towair will nevair be ze realeetay!”"

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